Type 2 Fun

Well, a big thank you to all dawgs and their humans who commented last week, wrote stores, commiserated an’ stuff about what it’s like gettin’ a little older. Man is gettin’ pretty lazy too. He’s a helluva napper, even snores on the couch sometimes in the afternoon. Sometimes even his paws twitch! But what I wanted to tell you is that we ain’t done yet. We went out a few months ago down to one of my favorite canyons with a whole bunch of stuff but this time we went all that way down to this lake. It was all muddy an’ stinky and people down there had boats as big as houses! But man and woman, they just had these tiny little inner tube things called packrats. Well I though a packrat was just a big smelly mouse but they had these packrats that they blew up and made me an’ Eileen Underfoot (also known as dawg # 2) git in em! There was no room. Man is so huge and powerful and musclely with his humongous pack and where was I supposed to go? Well, I’m loyal as at the day is long and always do what man says so I got in. As You can see it was not very comfortable and this is coming from someone who is used to a really nice couch. Well, I got in somewhere between mans sculpted legs and his massive pack and we went paddling around in what man called ‘Lake Foul’. It was not fun. Type 2 fun I guess you could say. Type 3 is when it’s raining. Well we bravely tired to cross this Lake Foul but there was boats and little ones like motorcycles and one time somebody got their boat as big as a house stuck in a canyon and me and man had to wait while they made like a 17 point turn to get turned around but then they threw man 3 beers so everything was alright. Anyway it was mainly miserable until they found a beautiful little camp in an alcove up a canyon with firewood and a nice spot to nest up and go exploring around too. But I think that’s the last time I want to go packratting unless man gets a bigger one. We still had a grand adventure except for when we were in the mud and getting passed by noisy people on motorcycle boats. Our camp was quiet, and there were big birds like dinosaurs flyin’ by and bats at night and the canyon walls made for excellent howling especially after 3 beers. All in all it was type 2 fun except being with man, and woman and dawg 2. Well, that made it all good. Just where I’m supposed to be. And as mans says: “You crushed it DD!” when I wasn’t getting crushed that is. Even adventures that aren’t fun are fun when you’re with the right humans and dawgs. DD – over and out.

Dear Man, I will always be here for you, Love, DD

So, I see you have some maps out, lookin’ at places to go, adventures to have. But you know I’m gettin’ a little tired in my golden years. I don’t mind sleepin’ all day long besides  gettin’ out for some sniffs a few times a day. Gotta keep the pipes clear as you like to say. I still got it, don’t get me wrong but those big trips like in our movie? Nope. I think, I’ll stay home and guard the couch. We got some CBD oil comin’ whatever the hell that is to make chasin’ bunnies a little easier and getting in and out of the truck of adventure less of bother but the big, long days are pretty much over for me. I know it’s hard for you but just think you won’t have to carry all that kibble for me anymore, and my sleeping bag, and pad, and treats. Yep, you carried all that stuff and more. It’s harder on you than me. I get to stick around and keep an eye on things but you have to be out there without me? Who’s gonna watch out for you? I guess you have your human friends but they is different. You have to talk to ’em and explain yersef an’ stuff. When we went out we just went. No words, just trust, nonverbal communication. You made the plan and we did it, we did it  together. Well, if you gotta go, you gotta go. Solvitur Ambulando as you like to say. I want you to be happy and I realize you gotta clear your head and look at the stars but I don’t know who you are gonna howl with without me? I will be here for you and I will miss you. I will always be here for you, Love, DD

Advice from my fans and my GF.

Thanks everyone who chimed in about gettin’ creaky in my joints. Got a hitch in my giddyup as man would say but we got a heap o’ advice about what to do. The overwhelming response was something called CBD oil. I don’t know exactly what that is but I guess it’s on the way. I hope it tastes like the bacon pan I git to lick clean as soon as man gets done transcribin’ this for you my fans. Oh yeah, Thank You! Thank you for all your kind words of wisdom. They are just like a nice skritch behind the ears, makes me feel warm and fuzzy like.  So, a bunch of humans recommended glucosamine and chon something or other, and someone mentioned Devils Claw that they use for their horse. And there was some other stuff too but mostly it was the CBD. So, it’s on the way and just stay tuned and we will do a test run. Maybe it will make me jump like Kalei pictured above with me lookin’ handsome and her lookin’ silly. That’s what she does mostly is look silly. She’s not a spring chicken either  but she can run and jump like a puppy. She’s smart too, most of the time, when she’s not annoying. But as I told you she’s a border collie so you gotta take that into account. She’s a quick learner though. She’s so good at finding’ dead deer parts that she brings ’em home for me to chew on. I like the hooves with some fur and gristle still attached the best. Gross you say? Well, have you tried rotten deer elbow? I highly recommend it. Counrty livin’. That’s us. Me and my bestie also known as Twinkletoes Underfoot. She’s runs around on her toes and she’s always ………… finish this sentence. Don’t forget hats! I’ll have man take a new pitcher so you can see all the awesome new colors and you can rock DD Trucker hats wherever you go! So, if there’s something you want to talk about or need some good ‘ol dawg advice just reach out okay? Desert Dawg over and out. Peace, and long walks with tons of good sniffing!

Happy New Year from Desert Dawg!

So yeah, I’m back. I really didn’t go anywhere but I kinda suffered from writer’s block whatever the hell that is. Man says it the news but he sits there ranting and raving about some orange idiot who doesn’t even have a dawg fercrisakes. Me. I’m just chillin’ hard, soaking up all the wisdom and treats and love and respect that I get as a slightly older dawg. Don’t get me wrong. I still got it. But I just like takin’ it easy. We got a new dawg in our household and she’s got enough crazy for both of us. She’s no puppy either but she got some energy. But she is a border collie so go figure. She’s sweet though when she’s not weird. She likes to walk around in a circle tryin’ to talk with an old stuffed duck in her mouth. Me? I got better things to do like wait for the bacon pan or man to go anywhere. Anywhere at all. Vigilant. That’s me. Loyal, wise, handsome are all words that I would use to describe myself. Man went on some trips these past months that I didn’t get to go on. Made me real sad but I got to chill with my favorite people and keep them company so it was important. People without dawgs are so lonely. They don’t get to walk around 4 times a day and look at the sky, sniff, and pee outside wild and free. So it’s the New Year? Who cares. Maybe that means man will cook more bacon? I think the main thing is to look up at the stars, breathe deep of the cool desert air, stay calm, don’t panic. It’s all going to be okay. Don’t forget to walk outside 3 – 5 times a day. Aim for camping 30 nights at the absolute minimum for the new year. Love older dawgs cause they is very wise. Oh yeah man just wanted to say he got a new load of official Desert Dawg trucker hats from our friend Anneka at Recaps. So, send man some clams and he’ll git you a new hat. All kinda  awesome colors too. Oh and another thing man wanted me to ask ya’ll? My joints are gettin’ stiff after a big hike? So, like CBD? or turmeric? Gluecosamine or something else I can’t spell? We open to yer advice. So get outside, tell whosoever next to you that you love em. Well, maybe not if your sittin’ in a coffee shop but if yer at home. Wet smelly dawg kisses for the New Year from Desert Dawg.

Walk Dawgs, Save Yourself, Save the World.

I know it’s been too long since you heard from me. Just takin’ a break from social media. But I’m back and full of stories and advice for y’all. Man was gone for a long time this winter but I got to stay with our wonderful friends Olive, Eli, and their humans. Olive has a huge crush on me and kinda drives me crazy but she’s sweet although kinda annoying sometimes. Eli is a zen master of all things, he’s wise, aloof, calm and collected. Man was gone what seemed like forever but I had lots of dawg beds and treats, and walks and love so it was all okay. Then Man came home really stinky and tired. His duffel bag smelled all kind of strange but he was home! But then he got sick. Sick as a dawg some would say but who knows where that comes from? When I’m sick I just puke once and I’m all better. Man was sick forever it seemed like so we laid around a lot. He’s learning how to relax but it’s not easy to teach an old dawg new tricks. He finally got better and together life resumed. Wake up, cuddle for awhile, chat about what we gonna do that day. Then man drinks his magic brown syrup while I eat my kibble. By the time he’s done he’s pretty mad about everything for some stupid reason but then we go for a walk and pee and breathe and poop and the world comes into focus. I usually grab a snack of cow shit while man is looking up at the sky. Together we solve stuff. You can come and we can help you solve stuff too. Look for the magic. Cow shit or pieces of rock. Magic everyday. Just have to open your eyes and look around. Sniff and smell. Breathe. So we’re back, man is mad but walking always helps. Always. In the afternoon Biscuit and Oona come over with their woman and we all go walking. The humans drink red stuff out of jam jars and take silly pictures of themselves. The stress of the day dissolves at the same rate as their jam jars empty. Except when Oona chases cows then her woman yells a bunch. Oona is like 10 lbs. wet but likes to chase 2 tons cows around. Go figure. So yeah, take a walk, walk a dawg, heal yersef, save the world one dawg walk at a time. Oh yeah, if ya’ll got any particular advice you might need from me about dawgism just shoot us a note. Woof! Desert Dawg over and out.

Desert Dawg Proclaims New National Dawg Park and The Cats Are Gonna Pay For It!

That’s right. The cats are gonna pay for it. I wuz thinkin’ of building a wall about where I 70 crosses Ewetah but man say we have a lot of friends from up north. So, I’m just going to appoint my self supreme ruler and have a council of my best friends which include:

Supreme Dawg Council: Tashi, Angus, Henry, Biscuit, Oona, Eli, Olive, Fergy, Honey, Cally, Gus, Tractor. If I forgot you just give me a woof and I’ll get you on the list. And Skadi and Snorri too!

First, the rules:

Allowed: All dawgs except for bad ones. Most humans, hiking, wandering, soul searching, watching clouds, listening, sleeping, eating, loving, living, camping, etc.

Not allowed: Assholes, atvs , hunting, shooting, mining, mean people.

So, I’m just figuring out this new National Dawg Park thing so I need your hep. Suggestions? Those with 30 smackers for a Desert Dawg ‘Keep on Truckin’ hat will be considered first. Contact man for details. Don’t forget this is Your Park. So let’s make the rules together, the less the better. Where dawgs (and most humans) run free. DDNP!

Standing by for your feedback – Desert Dawg.

 

Wealthy Elitist Urban Dwellers

Yep, that what they called us yesterday. Those blood sucking parasites trying to take away my backyard where I wander with man. Where I am lord and master of the glorious landscape. Where I rule and roam, howl, and run. Where I’m free, where man is free. To think, to dream, to sleep, to live, to love. Wealthy? Not sure was that is but I guess it’s when there’s plenty of milkbonz in the cookie jar. Elitist? What the heck is that? Urban? Isn’t he a country singer? Good guy to howl with. Dwellers? Aren’t we all? I dwell in the present. Sometimes I dwell in the truck. Mostly I dwell out here in the land of the free dawgs. Man is pretty mad right now. He might make me bite someone. But we are peace loving creatures. We just love to hike, and camp and howl at the moon. But a very small group of greedy humans want to take this away from us. All of us. You. Yes you, reading this. Feel helpless? I know man does sometimes but there is something you can do. No matter where you live. If you love the Grand Staircase – Escalante National Monument. If you love all the National Monuments all over the country. If you love dawgs. This is the tip of the dawg bone. If they do it here they will do it where you live too. Stop whatever you’re doing right now and write. If enough of us let them know we have the power to stop the evil. Here’s what you need to do right now, this minute:

Easy huh? Took like 5 minutes of your valuable time. Thank you from the bottom of my smelly dawg breath heart. Really, this is serious shit. Man thanks you too.

  • Desert Dawg

Happy Thanksgiving From Desert Dawg, and oh yeah, hats!

Man talks about some artist Andy something or nuther. Well, I can do art too. I call this one: Desert Dawgsworthy. Whaddaya think? I put the stick on the rock and voila! Dawg art! So yeah, I got some turkey skin in the resto yesterday from my friend Jen whom I love so much and wow! I luff Thanksgiving! I love humans who give me turkey skin that’s for sure. So Happy Thanksgiving to y’all and don’t forget the best thing in the world for dawgs is turkey skin. Just so you know. So then I heard tomorrow is Black Friday? What the hell is that? So freakin’ stoopid. I mean shopping is for losers. Hiking, powder skiing, climbing, exploring, that’s what cool people and their dawgs do on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Besides there’s no shopping within a hundred miles of where we live. Except for gas, chips, beer and Milkbonz. But oh yeah there is one thing: HATS! Yep man got all exited that we got hats and then we went out exploring and creating masterpieces and he forgot all about them. He is so lazy. This blawg is making his ass look fat. So, if you want a hat or three they are $30 smackers each. Oh that’s a lot you say? Well that fancy company that promises 1% for the planet is the same price. And our is like 66% for our awesome friend Anneka who makes ’em all custom for us. https://www.recaphats.com  Then about 20% is for shipping them to you and the rest is for man to buy me kibble. Send yer check or cash to me Desert Dawg POB 1483, Boulder, UT 84716. Make sure you tell man what color you like cause they is all different. and don’t forget your address. And don’t be shy about bugging him to get on it. either. I’m not. So have a happy Thanksgiving everyone. Don’t forget to NOT go shopping tomorrow but let yer dawgs take you for a walk / run / ski / pee / sniff around. And don’t forget to give us all the turkey skin. There’ all kinda blawgs about not giving your pets leftovers well just so you know that does not apply to turkey skin, or bacon. Maybe cheese balls too.

Over and out from Desert Dawg

We Got New Hats! or Can You Tell How Much I Hate Posing With This Silly Hat?

Yep, Back by popular demand. Man got a new batch of Desert Dawg keep on truckin’ hats. So for all those of you that never got one and aren’t too mad about it man got a new batch so let him know and I’ll go with him to the Post Office and we’ll send you one or two. I love goin’ to the Post Office cause Katie’s silly dawgs bark like crazy when they see me crusin’ around all free cause they are stuck in the truck usually when Katie is workin’. And she gives me a cookie and there’s a great lawn there by the Freebox which is always a good place to sniff around too.

So, we spent a lot of time on the road which is kind of boring especially cause man sneaks little pink pills into the cheese he gives me before we head out so I don’t remember a lot about the trip except we get to good places to explore, and camp and generally sniff. Man’s gettin’ a bit better so we are hikin’ a little bits but nuthin like those epic record setters of yesteryear.  All good by me. I’m gettin’ pretty mellow like a fine wine or a good Scotch is what man says and he’s full of s__t or wisdom he likes to think. Yep, I’m content with the little things; morning cuddles, breakfast, a walk around the block, treat, stroll over to the coffee shop, get another treat, then maybe a snooze, then hopefully some lunch, then snooze, maybe a little walk and some treats and then dinner time! My favorite time of day, then if I’m lucky a bone, a couple more snoozes, repeat. Not too bad. I don’t really care about cows much anymore either, big stoopid beasts, but I like to eat beef. So yeah, just aging gracefully like a good stinky cheese. Me and my man, both slowing down. Don’t forget though to git hold of him if you want a hat. And some words of wisdom right here:

Fight everyday for the wild places. Bite those assholes that would take it away from us. But get out everyday too. Look up at the sky, howl at the moon, breathe deep and smell the sage, listen to the wind. Then go home and fight some more. We will bite them in their fat asses!                            -Desert Dawg over and out.

I’m Here For You

I’m Here For You

Dear Man,

I know you are sad right now. I know you lost one of your pack, two even. I can hear it in your voice, I hear you on the phone with others in our pack. I see the way you walk around the house, I see you grabbing another beer, I feel you tossing and turning all night. But you know I’m here for you. I love waking up with you everyday. The sun still rises and we live another day although others are gone. Yesterday was tough. We just went out and sat on a rock to cry a little bit but it helped. Today we walked around and looked up at the beautiful autumn sky. Well, you did, I was busy sniffing and peeing and trying to sneak off to the back door of the restaurant until you got mad and yelled at me. Than you felt bad for being being mad but’s it’s okay cause I’m always here for you. That’s me Desert Dawg. Solid. Steady. A little bad sometimes but only a little. I love you. Always have, always will. Everyday is the best day of my life. And that’s your life too. Last summer I was hurt and you helped me and our whole pack helped and I got better and we got through it. Then this summer you got hurt, really hurt and it sucked. But I was there, every night, every day and you’re getting’ better! I helped just by bein’ me. I’m getting a little older, a little wiser maybe. I don’t hear so good anymore but I hear what I need to. I hear you snoring sometimes. It’s true, you do snore but only when you drink too much. So, don’t be sad. I guess what I mean is be sad but be strong and be the good man that I know you are. Do more good stuff. Tell people you love ‘em. Go for more walks. Don’t be bothered by all the crazy shit going on. Just be. True. Alive. Strong. Do all the good shit you’re meant to be doing.

Yours truly,
Desert Dawg