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Desert Dawg Interview # ? (I can’t count that high)

14821_10151405690754890_1686891357_nFirst of all I want to thank all of you dawg luvvers out there! The thing is man was completely overwhelmed by how popular the DD hats were! I told him to be ready but man sometimes he’s a little slow to pick up on things. Everybody wants a Desert Dawg  Keep On Truckin’ hat! So, if you ordered one but didn’t get it well, we have another shipment comin’ soon. And sometimes man needs a little reminder too. Don’t be shy, just send him an email. He tries his best but sometimes……

So, this here is an interview I did for Mountain Dawg Life magazine from Canada. They have lots of mountains way up there in Canineada. So, man’s friend Leslie wanted to interview me; the Desert Dawg. The weird thing is Leslie isn’t a dawg person or a silly cat person he likes snakes! Yep, Like is said. Weird. But he asked some good questions: Here ya go:

Woof Leslie!

You don’t smell familiar, have we met? I don’t think so. This fan mail is so tiring, I think I’ll take a nap. Okay, I’m up. Wide awake, ready for a treat and a W A L K.

1) How old are you, where’d you come from, and what breed if any, do you identify with?

I don’t know how old I am, don’t care. Man and I met at the beginning of time about 10 years ago. I’m from Colorado. I only know that cause man tells me when we go visit and there are lots of familiar smells. I’m an Australian Cattle Dawg. Not to be confused with a sheep dawg. They are crazy, those sheep dawgs. We are also know as heelers. Some of us are blue and some are red. We are smart, handsome, loyal and like to keep everyone in line. Obey the rules an’ shit. No funny business. We are smart too. Did I already say that?

2) How did you get hooked up with this Man guy, Ace?

Man was just, like, there. It’s pretty blurry. He just was and we became one. One unit. Me and my man. Although today when he was distracted talkin’ about the environment or something else silly I wandered over to the burger place and met these really nice people from somewhere. So, I just settled in and looked up at the woman with my big brown eyes and next thing you know I was eatin’ burger! Forgot all about man til I heard him yellin’ my name.

3) When did you start the Desert Dawg Adventure Blawg blawg and what was the idea behind it? Do you have a big fan base? Is the blawg about your adventures helping connect more dumbass humans to the outdoors?

Well, man is always braggin’ about how awesome he was a long time ago so I decided to start my own blawg. Cause us heelers are know for bein’ so smart an’ stuff. I thought I would help other dawgs to understand their poor misunderstood humans. Help ’em train ’em. Got thousand of fans. Justin Bieber? You ever heard of him? He’s got nuthin’ on the Desert Dawg. The blawg helps humans to not put dawg packs on their dawgs and give us all more bacon and super useful stuff like that. Full of wisdom if you would have bothered to read it instead of asking me. Yawn.

4) I know it’s hard to know what’s going on in Ace’s head, but what do you think it’s like for him being a Man in a Dawg’s world?

Well if he could be more dawg like his life would be so much easier. But like most humans he makes it hard on himself. I mean just look at me. My needs are few. Sleep, eat, hike, shit. Repeat. Meet girls. yep, I still got it. Still a chick magnet even though man says I have dragon breath. Dawgs rule. But, you know that.

5) You guys went walkabout for a couple months, but it was hard to know who was leading who—what was happening out there? What’s the teamwork like with you guys? Did you keep man out of trouble? Did he keep you out of some?

Yep we went walkabout. That’s Australian for a really long walk. Man leads and I lead from behind man. Don’t get between us cause right behind man is my spot. So when he’s trying to figure the shit out he can talk to me and then he feels better. That’s my main job. Just being even, level headed, solid. Words like that all apply to me. We are a team. Sometimes man has to lower me down a canyon or up a cliff a little ways. i don’t like it much but I just play it cool. Do what I’m told. Don’t fidget or make it any harder than it has to be. It’s always tense but I just do my job cause I am a pack animal. I want to be with man and the pack and I’ll do what’s necessary.

6) You seem to have a long list of accomplishments—wolfing down pounds of bacon, taming Marko Shapiro, making a film; what’s your favorite activity (hiking, climbing, swimming, snoozing etc…) and what’s the hardest thing man has ever had you do?

Marko was a pushover. He likes f_____g cats! Can you believe it? Well, I showed him . No freakin’ cat does what we do. Crossing the uncrossable wilderness. Me and man. Marko loves me now. We skyped today actually. My favorite thing? Well food is very important of course. But my favorite thing is just goin’ for a walk on a nice evening, with some nice grass to run on, and maybe a fresh cowshit to roll in, and maybe a stupid cat to chase up a tree followed by a burger at the place. The hardest thing man has ever made me do? Well, we had to go to the vet once and I had my anal glands expressed. Do you want me to go into detail or is that good enough? I mean have you ever had your anal glands compacted? It’s no fun, let me tell you……..

7) I see you wrote a blawg on being a film star; what’s that like? Would you make another film? Any aspirations to get on the other side of the camera and direct?

I got a box of dawg treats from one of my sponsors today delivered UPS. And they are really, really good. My favorite. So having sponsors. I like it. A lot. Sure, I’ll make some more films. Just reviewing some scripts now actually but that’s top secret. That’s a good idea. Film directing. Heeling cows, film directing. should go paw in paw doncha’ think?

Smell ya later, time for din din!

Awwooooooo! Desert Dawg over and out.

Desert Dawg Trucker Hats! or Can You Tell How Much I Hate Posing Like This?

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Yep, man is all excited but I couldn’t really care less. I hate it when he makes me pose but here it is. Trucker Hats! Yawn. I think I’ll take a nap. But really a huge Woof! and howl to all you dawg luvers out there. Ya’ll dug deep and hepped man pay for my surgery and I am bouncing back big time! I’m still a little out of it sometimes cause man says I’m on painkillers ( while he opens another beer ) But yeah, I can pee to port now and I was able to cover up my morning business using both legs today and that’s  a huge breakthrough as I’ve been tryin’ to do it one legged for months. I can’t quite jump into the truck of adventure yet but real soon. I wanted to chase one of those black and white stinky kittys the other night but man barked at me so loud I stopped dead. Close call I think. Whewwww. But yeah, man made these hats. Well he found someone to make em’ and it turns out she’s from Colorado like me! She’s super cool, she even flies off mountains with a kite! Her name is Anneka and her company is called Recaps. http://www.recaphats.com/

So a HUGE THANK YOU! to all that donated to my Desert Dawg keep on truckin’ fund. I know man said he’d give some of you hats but he’s not that good at keepin’ track of everything and if he doesn’t have your address well………. man does his best but he needs hep too sometimes. So, if you want a hat or 2 make sure you contact him with some colors you like and your mailing address and maybe, if your lucky, or persistent you’ll git a hat with my awesome silhouette on it. They say ” DESERT DAWG” on the side too. I’m sure you’ll look proud and not like me in this picture. And if you haven’t’ donated but want a hat you can still donate here: https://www.crowdrise.com/desert-dawgs-knee-surgery/fundraiser/acekvale

Desert Dawg – Stronger every day!

 

 

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WTF?

201509240299AKPWow, so much has happened in the last couple of weeks it’s gonna take me a couple of installments to tell you all about it. The thing is right now I’m laid up like never before. I mean I cut my leg on a fence once and I’ve had a couple of hard landings leaping off tall cliffs and such but I’ve never been reduced to laying around and walking on a leash! It sucks let me tell you. But, I know it will be better cause man is here taking really good care of me. I don’t like it too much when he puts the bags from the freezer on my leg but he talks to me the whole time so I know it’ll be okay. But let me tell you what happened. You probably know I got hurt and it just wasn’t getting any better so we went on a road trip anyway and had all kinds of adventures. With sheep, and big and little dawgs and swimming and stuff but then we went to this place that I didn’t like the smell of at all. I tried to escape when another dawg came in that’s how much I didn’t like it. But the people were so kind, so gentle and they know dawg talk. Man called it Pinebrook something which is clever cause the place has nothing to do with trees or rivers. But anyway man left me! He told me later he almost wrecked the truck of adventure he was so distraught but back to me. Well, the kind, nice people put me in a cage! I’ve never been in a cage before but they just kept whispering sweet things and started to poke and prod and shave me! Well, just let me say it was a strange day. I went to sleep somehow and woke up very bewildered and lonely and hurting but they were so nice. Then I could hear man talking to the nice ladies so I started howling GETMEOUTTAHERE. And finally they carried me out to the truck. It was all very surreal. I cant’ really walk, I’m kinda numb and my right rear leg just doesn’t work at all just now. But man is here. Holding me, talking to me, sleeping with me and carrying me around! Me. Desert Dawg. Carried. But it’s getting a little better already. Today I got bacon and forgot I was hurt for little bit. Then man took me for a drive so I could poop cause I don’t like to poop by the house so all in all I’m felling just a tiny bit better. Oh, but here comes man with those frozen bags again….. I think this is gonna take a long time.

In case you wanna hep: https://www.crowdrise.com/desert-dawgs-knee-surgery/fundraiser/acekvale

There’s Something Happening Here What It Is Ain’t Exactly Clear

201607030100AKPYep, I borrowed that from Man’s stereo which was blasting while were camping. Sometimes he has a couple of beers and the music gets loud and well, anyway….. There is something going on. I’ve been gimping around now for a month or so and even though I’ve gotten pretty good at 3 legs I can’t go out on the trail and help man navigate. I can’t even chase cats, or squirrels. So, even though I’ve adjusted I know man is a little bummed. So he’s been on the stupid screen thing and the phone a ton and I know he’s got some plan for me. Goin’ in for surgery whatever that is. And rehab. I think man needs to go to rehab personally but he’s made a appointment for me to go to a place called Pinebrook (nice name dontcha think?) up there by the big city and the nice people there are gonna fix me up good as new. So stay tuned, I’ll let you know how it goes. Man is going to take pictures of everybody too. And then he’s going to make Desert Dawg hats for all our fans and friends and well anybody who loves the outdoors and nature and all the great things in life. This picture is me sniffing for Buffalo. I’ve never seen one but I know what they smell like. Their big ol piles were all around our camp. We were up in some mountains called the Henrys driving around it seemed like forever looking for Buffalo. Really. Saw about a million deer with really tiny bambis and a fox and a coyote but nary a Buffalo in sight. I may only have 3 good legs at the moment but my smeller is still functioning perfectly. They were out there. We’ll just have to go back. Come with us!

Desert Dawg over and out.

DD Needs Surgery :(

201605220012AKPYep, you read that right. We overdid it, Man and and I. I’ve been gimping around since we hiked some big ‘ol mountain up there in the Wasatch so man finally took me to some place called Best Friends. The people were super nice but there were cats in boxes and lots of funny smells so I just stayed real quiet hoping nobody would see me. But then man took me in a room that I didn’t like at all and then a kind man and some really nice girls prodded and pulled on me and stuck something sharp in my leg and told man that  I need knee surgery. I not sure what that means but it doesn’t sound like fun or an adventure. I can tell cause man is kinda bummed and calling people and spending a lot of time on the stupid screen thing instead of packing the truck of adventure like he should be so I know something is up. So what we want to know from all of you my fans and fellow dawgs is where should we go to get this surgery? Any recommendations? Dawg docs that you love? Close to home is good cause I don’t love driving too much. We have so many awesome adventures to go on that we want to do this thing as soon as possible. I’m tired of being stuck on the couch too. Man goes out running without me? wtf? so let’s get ‘er done cause we have some big plans for camping, swimming, chasing cows and squirrels and stuff. The worst thing is I can only pee on one side. I can’t’ stand on my hurt leg too good to pee off my left side so I’m only peeing off my right side. What is the neighborhood gonna think? I need to pee high and far off both sides everywhere to properly let the world know that I’m here and in charge of this neighborhood. So, the sooner we get this knee fixed up the better.

Desert dawg and man awaiting your advice. Thanks from us!

Gimme Some Lovin’

Ace-DD-2This Is a nice picture by our pack member Mary McIntyre. She hiked with us for about a year. Man and I having a little moment. But what I want to say is I need a little love right now. Here’s the backstory: As you probably know we had us an epic adventure last year. Best ever. But this winter we watched a lot of movies, sat around a bunch and maybe gained a couple of pounds. It happens. Then this spring we hit the road and man got all excited and we hiked some big ‘ol mountain up there in the Wasatch and my right rear has not been the same. Our Vet friend thinks it’s a partial acl tear and can heal. So we are taking it easy for now. Man is slippin’ some dawggie ibuprofen and fish oil in my food and the wonderful people at Zukes sent me a huge box of really yummy treats. But it’s kind of a drag. I know man feels bad but all we did was hike like a million times before. I can’t chase cows or rabbits or anything just now. Stuck on the couch. Luckily there is a dumpster behind the burger place nearby that offers easy and good foraging when man is otherwise occupied on the phone and the stupid screen thing. He is givin’ me lots of love though. So if any of you, my fans, have suggestions please send ’em our way. I’ve only been to the vet to get my anal glands expressed and I don’t wish to repeat the experience. Summertime and the livin’ is easy though. Went for a swim just this afternoon. Desert Dawg tryin’ to heal up……….

My Film Premiere

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Yep. I’m famous. Really? Just show me the bacon. Our friends Brendan and Forest. Now those guys know all about bacon. Brendan carries it around for me in his computer bag and he doesn’t even eat the amazing pork product made by the gods for dawgs. Forest cooked a whole pound of it and delivered to me in this tent. It’s especially good cold when the grease sticks in white globs to everything. Oh yeah, where was I? So we made this movie. Man says people like it. Yawn. Time for a nap. I don’t care about movies too much. Man drags me around and makes me pose and stuff. Oh, and I get to howl when we have showings. That’s always fun. Then man answers questions about us and I nap. It’s tiring all this film stuff. Driving around. But I get a lot of attention. I kiss a lot of different people. I stick my tongue right in their mouth if they aren’t paying attention. 2 kinds of humans in the world. Those that let dawgs lick ’em on the mouth and those that don’t. You’re one or the other. Then there are those who love cats and those who love dawgs. You know who you are. This blawg is for the dawg luvers of the world. Anyway, man is driving me to Telluride to visit our San Juan pack and show our movie. Hope you can make it. Let’s go for a hike! Desert Dawg over and out.

 

 

 

Roadtrip! Desert Dawg World Premiere.

Ace_Woodward-0344Really? Who cares? I don’t. Well I wanna go of course. That’s what I do. Even yesterday when man was packing the truck of adventure I stayed in the truck. Easiest place to be so I can snooze but keep an eye on things. So I guess we’re going to Colorado to visit our big pack over there. Goin’ to some silly festival to see a movie that my friends Brendan and Forest made about me and man. This is a photo Forest made of  me last year out on the big trip we did. I like to stay in the tent when it’s snowing. It’s gonna be fun though. Dawg friendly. We even get to lead a hike for dawgs and their people. Going to be lots of sniffing and peeing I tell you. So man wants me to tell you it’s called the 5Point Film Festival in Carbondale, Colorado. Our film is ‘Ace and the Desert Dog’ which of course is ridiculous because it should be Desert Dawg and …… anyway, man told told me to shut up and just be sure to tell you about our big film premiere which I think is probably going to get me some bacon. Forest made me a pound of bacon when he came hiking with us! Now that’s  a thoughtful human. Man might even get a girlfriend, doubtful but you never know. He should try bacon. It works for me and my kind. So yeah, roadtrip, movies, old and new friends. I love smelling my old friends. Human and dawg. See you on the Silver screen! Desert Dawg – Colorado bound!

“When I die, I want to come back as a dawg, and be yours.”

201210300184AKPYep, That’s what a nice female human said to man while we were ice climbing. Well, man was ice climbing, I was laying on my dawg bed, with my down vest on, covered up by man’s big down coat. Have I told you that ice climbing is probably the most boring thing ever? I mean I’d rather watch TV! Man and his friends bash around, make a lot of noise with sharp tools, yell at each other and it’s cold. So there I wuz. Bored, cold, but comfy in the down room when the nice person saw how man looks after me. Well, it sounds like man is going ice climbing again. Some place called Alaska. Sounds cold to me. I’m going to stay here in sunny Yewtah and hike everyday with my great friend Carla. She doesn’t ice climb. I wonder if there are cows in Alaska? Probably too cold with all that ice.

How do you like this picture of me? Handsome I know. I’ve still got it. That’s what man says and everything he says is true most of the time. This is me telling him to get his lazy ass out of the tent and feed me. It’s time for breakfast! I like to have breakfast first thing, right away. No coffee, no nuthin’. Food, Now. Then we can commence with the day’s adventure. Wherever it may lead. Where man leads I follow. Unless we’ve been there before, even once a long time ago. Then I lead cause I remember stuff better than man. His memory is sometimes faulty although he doesn’t’ let on. So get out and have an adventure with your human or your dawg or both! Desert Dawg over and out.

Single Black Male Seeks Gainful Employment

201510140623AKPFor two months I’ve been hard at work keeping an eye on man and his friends while they got lost in the canyon wilderness. Now we’re home and I’m out of work, bored, restless and laying on the couch. Probably gonna gain a bunch of weight too. Least I hope so cause I love food. What to do? Go for walks, chew on toys, chase the occasional cow or deer. I mean everyday I had a good job. Get up, wake man up, eat, take care of my business, hike all day, get to camp, eat, sleep, repeat. Life was good. Chase some silly bunnies, howled at coyotes and the full moon. Got treats all the time especially salami skins. (I love salami skin.) washed the dishes, went swimming, kissed everybody a bunch, snuggled with man every night but now we’re home and I’m back on the couch. I mean it’s great to be home don’t get me wrong. It’s warm and cozy and life is easy but I’m a workin’ dawg. I love to work, like hike everyday. I’m so strong and fit right now. What if it all turns to fat? What then? Oh well, there’s morning walkies, and afternoon walkies and some hikes but mostly it’s the couch and barking at intruders and stuff. Boring, but cozy. My claws need to grow back too. They are nuthin’ but little stubs. So, if you hear of any good work for an over qualified blue heeler (me) or if you want to go hiking please let me know. You can send a message to man. He seems to be happy to lay around on the couch all day but I know him. He’ll get antsy here in a week or two and we’ll have to go climbing or something. Desert Dawg – back on the couch.