Desert Dawg Interview # ? (I can’t count that high)

14821_10151405690754890_1686891357_nFirst of all I want to thank all of you dawg luvvers out there! The thing is man was completely overwhelmed by how popular the DD hats were! I told him to be ready but man sometimes he’s a little slow to pick up on things. Everybody wants a Desert Dawg  Keep On Truckin’ hat! So, if you ordered one but didn’t get it well, we have another shipment comin’ soon. And sometimes man needs a little reminder too. Don’t be shy, just send him an email. He tries his best but sometimes……

So, this here is an interview I did for Mountain Dawg Life magazine from Canada. They have lots of mountains way up there in Canineada. So, man’s friend Leslie wanted to interview me; the Desert Dawg. The weird thing is Leslie isn’t a dawg person or a silly cat person he likes snakes! Yep, Like is said. Weird. But he asked some good questions: Here ya go:

Woof Leslie!

You don’t smell familiar, have we met? I don’t think so. This fan mail is so tiring, I think I’ll take a nap. Okay, I’m up. Wide awake, ready for a treat and a W A L K.

1) How old are you, where’d you come from, and what breed if any, do you identify with?

I don’t know how old I am, don’t care. Man and I met at the beginning of time about 10 years ago. I’m from Colorado. I only know that cause man tells me when we go visit and there are lots of familiar smells. I’m an Australian Cattle Dawg. Not to be confused with a sheep dawg. They are crazy, those sheep dawgs. We are also know as heelers. Some of us are blue and some are red. We are smart, handsome, loyal and like to keep everyone in line. Obey the rules an’ shit. No funny business. We are smart too. Did I already say that?

2) How did you get hooked up with this Man guy, Ace?

Man was just, like, there. It’s pretty blurry. He just was and we became one. One unit. Me and my man. Although today when he was distracted talkin’ about the environment or something else silly I wandered over to the burger place and met these really nice people from somewhere. So, I just settled in and looked up at the woman with my big brown eyes and next thing you know I was eatin’ burger! Forgot all about man til I heard him yellin’ my name.

3) When did you start the Desert Dawg Adventure Blawg blawg and what was the idea behind it? Do you have a big fan base? Is the blawg about your adventures helping connect more dumbass humans to the outdoors?

Well, man is always braggin’ about how awesome he was a long time ago so I decided to start my own blawg. Cause us heelers are know for bein’ so smart an’ stuff. I thought I would help other dawgs to understand their poor misunderstood humans. Help ’em train ’em. Got thousand of fans. Justin Bieber? You ever heard of him? He’s got nuthin’ on the Desert Dawg. The blawg helps humans to not put dawg packs on their dawgs and give us all more bacon and super useful stuff like that. Full of wisdom if you would have bothered to read it instead of asking me. Yawn.

4) I know it’s hard to know what’s going on in Ace’s head, but what do you think it’s like for him being a Man in a Dawg’s world?

Well if he could be more dawg like his life would be so much easier. But like most humans he makes it hard on himself. I mean just look at me. My needs are few. Sleep, eat, hike, shit. Repeat. Meet girls. yep, I still got it. Still a chick magnet even though man says I have dragon breath. Dawgs rule. But, you know that.

5) You guys went walkabout for a couple months, but it was hard to know who was leading who—what was happening out there? What’s the teamwork like with you guys? Did you keep man out of trouble? Did he keep you out of some?

Yep we went walkabout. That’s Australian for a really long walk. Man leads and I lead from behind man. Don’t get between us cause right behind man is my spot. So when he’s trying to figure the shit out he can talk to me and then he feels better. That’s my main job. Just being even, level headed, solid. Words like that all apply to me. We are a team. Sometimes man has to lower me down a canyon or up a cliff a little ways. i don’t like it much but I just play it cool. Do what I’m told. Don’t fidget or make it any harder than it has to be. It’s always tense but I just do my job cause I am a pack animal. I want to be with man and the pack and I’ll do what’s necessary.

6) You seem to have a long list of accomplishments—wolfing down pounds of bacon, taming Marko Shapiro, making a film; what’s your favorite activity (hiking, climbing, swimming, snoozing etc…) and what’s the hardest thing man has ever had you do?

Marko was a pushover. He likes f_____g cats! Can you believe it? Well, I showed him . No freakin’ cat does what we do. Crossing the uncrossable wilderness. Me and man. Marko loves me now. We skyped today actually. My favorite thing? Well food is very important of course. But my favorite thing is just goin’ for a walk on a nice evening, with some nice grass to run on, and maybe a fresh cowshit to roll in, and maybe a stupid cat to chase up a tree followed by a burger at the place. The hardest thing man has ever made me do? Well, we had to go to the vet once and I had my anal glands expressed. Do you want me to go into detail or is that good enough? I mean have you ever had your anal glands compacted? It’s no fun, let me tell you……..

7) I see you wrote a blawg on being a film star; what’s that like? Would you make another film? Any aspirations to get on the other side of the camera and direct?

I got a box of dawg treats from one of my sponsors today delivered UPS. And they are really, really good. My favorite. So having sponsors. I like it. A lot. Sure, I’ll make some more films. Just reviewing some scripts now actually but that’s top secret. That’s a good idea. Film directing. Heeling cows, film directing. should go paw in paw doncha’ think?

Smell ya later, time for din din!

Awwooooooo! Desert Dawg over and out.

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