There I wuz just havin’ a little snooze on the couch and when I looked over at man he was reading about the National Parks and what a big deal it is and they are 100 years old and then I fell back asleep. Next time I looked over he was still reading about boring park stuff and how humans need this or that essential items for their road trips. Amazing how much stuff humans need. I guess they need those parks too so they be out there alone all together. I can tell you one thing: National Parks = No Dawgs. I guess you can be on a leash in the parking lot but that’s about it. Me? I don’t go to parks. Although I luv dawg parks! When we go out we go where it’s really wild. As soon as my leg is completely better we are gonna go out far far away. But yeah, he was readin’ some other boring stuff about how you need this or that for your summer road trip. Then there is the maps of the perfect road trip, then of course the perfect million dollar van that is ‘essential’. And the hammock, and the stove, and the watch that monitors your heart. It never ends. Well. I have been road tripping with man for as long as I can remember and we have learned a few things along the way. So I though I would share this knowledge with you, luver of dawgs and dawgkind.
First of all the west is shrinking. Trophy homes, gates, fracking, yuck. There are less and less places to get a good night’s rest. Go back to your old favorite dead end roads and get ready for a nasty surprise. If it’s not closed, or there is somebody already there it’s probably trashed. Makes man so mad. He’s always cleaning up after humans he calls “unworthy”. He says they are not worthy of the wild and beautiful places and he says a bunch of stuff I cant repeat here but then he takes a deep breath, opens a beer, yells at me for diggin’ chicken bonz out of the fire ring and then he buckles down and gets to work. Seems like this happens to us a lot. Road tripping = cleaning up after “Unworthies”
So here is a list of man’s essential items for your summer road trip:
- Garbage bags, good ones. plenty.
- Lighter. You know whats that’s for. Don’t be stupid and start a wild fire. If that’s the case you need # 3.
- Gloves. No explanation needed.
- Tarp. So if there is a big huge ol’ pile of ash and trash you can’t possibly bag it all up and you don’t want all the gross stuff in your rig anyway. so, after you pull out all the trash and garbage and burned twisted glass you go somewhere as far as you can and dig a big hole. Then you shovel all the ash and partially burned green wood (idiots) on the tarp, and drag it all over to your hole and bury the whole thing. This is not approved but if you got another idea hit me.
- Pride. Be proud of your work. Educate others. Man says it’s not enough anymore to Leave No Trace. We must become Stewards Of The Land. We must take an extra step. Anyway he can go on and on about this topic. Feel free to call him, he’ll talk your ear off. I’m always happy when he gets done cleaning up though and camp looks good. Cause then it’s usually time for a walk and dinner!
Desert Dawg – tryin’ to help out my man.
Oh yeah. Did you get yer DD hat yet? Man just got a bunch more and he struggles with so many things so let him know if you still need one. He said he’s sending out a bunch tomorrow. Awooooooooooooooooooooooooo DD.