This Is a nice picture by our pack member Mary McIntyre. She hiked with us for about a year. Man and I having a little moment. But what I want to say is I need a little love right now. Here’s the backstory: As you probably know we had us an epic adventure last year. Best ever. But this winter we watched a lot of movies, sat around a bunch and maybe gained a couple of pounds. It happens. Then this spring we hit the road and man got all excited and we hiked some big ‘ol mountain up there in the Wasatch and my right rear has not been the same. Our Vet friend thinks it’s a partial acl tear and can heal. So we are taking it easy for now. Man is slippin’ some dawggie ibuprofen and fish oil in my food and the wonderful people at Zukes sent me a huge box of really yummy treats. But it’s kind of a drag. I know man feels bad but all we did was hike like a million times before. I can’t chase cows or rabbits or anything just now. Stuck on the couch. Luckily there is a dumpster behind the burger place nearby that offers easy and good foraging when man is otherwise occupied on the phone and the stupid screen thing. He is givin’ me lots of love though. So if any of you, my fans, have suggestions please send ’em our way. I’ve only been to the vet to get my anal glands expressed and I don’t wish to repeat the experience. Summertime and the livin’ is easy though. Went for a swim just this afternoon. Desert Dawg tryin’ to heal up……….
Yep. I’m famous. Really? Just show me the bacon. Our friends Brendan and Forest. Now those guys know all about bacon. Brendan carries it around for me in his computer bag and he doesn’t even eat the amazing pork product made by the gods for dawgs. Forest cooked a whole pound of it and delivered to me in this tent. It’s especially good cold when the grease sticks in white globs to everything. Oh yeah, where was I? So we made this movie. Man says people like it. Yawn. Time for a nap. I don’t care about movies too much. Man drags me around and makes me pose and stuff. Oh, and I get to howl when we have showings. That’s always fun. Then man answers questions about us and I nap. It’s tiring all this film stuff. Driving around. But I get a lot of attention. I kiss a lot of different people. I stick my tongue right in their mouth if they aren’t paying attention. 2 kinds of humans in the world. Those that let dawgs lick ’em on the mouth and those that don’t. You’re one or the other. Then there are those who love cats and those who love dawgs. You know who you are. This blawg is for the dawg luvers of the world. Anyway, man is driving me to Telluride to visit our San Juan pack and show our movie. Hope you can make it. Let’s go for a hike! Desert Dawg over and out.
Really? Who cares? I don’t. Well I wanna go of course. That’s what I do. Even yesterday when man was packing the truck of adventure I stayed in the truck. Easiest place to be so I can snooze but keep an eye on things. So I guess we’re going to Colorado to visit our big pack over there. Goin’ to some silly festival to see a movie that my friends Brendan and Forest made about me and man. This is a photo Forest made of me last year out on the big trip we did. I like to stay in the tent when it’s snowing. It’s gonna be fun though. Dawg friendly. We even get to lead a hike for dawgs and their people. Going to be lots of sniffing and peeing I tell you. So man wants me to tell you it’s called the 5Point Film Festival in Carbondale, Colorado. Our film is ‘Ace and the Desert Dog’ which of course is ridiculous because it should be Desert Dawg and …… anyway, man told told me to shut up and just be sure to tell you about our big film premiere which I think is probably going to get me some bacon. Forest made me a pound of bacon when he came hiking with us! Now that’s a thoughtful human. Man might even get a girlfriend, doubtful but you never know. He should try bacon. It works for me and my kind. So yeah, roadtrip, movies, old and new friends. I love smelling my old friends. Human and dawg. See you on the Silver screen! Desert Dawg – Colorado bound!
Yep, That’s what a nice female human said to man while we were ice climbing. Well, man was ice climbing, I was laying on my dawg bed, with my down vest on, covered up by man’s big down coat. Have I told you that ice climbing is probably the most boring thing ever? I mean I’d rather watch TV! Man and his friends bash around, make a lot of noise with sharp tools, yell at each other and it’s cold. So there I wuz. Bored, cold, but comfy in the down room when the nice person saw how man looks after me. Well, it sounds like man is going ice climbing again. Some place called Alaska. Sounds cold to me. I’m going to stay here in sunny Yewtah and hike everyday with my great friend Carla. She doesn’t ice climb. I wonder if there are cows in Alaska? Probably too cold with all that ice.
How do you like this picture of me? Handsome I know. I’ve still got it. That’s what man says and everything he says is true most of the time. This is me telling him to get his lazy ass out of the tent and feed me. It’s time for breakfast! I like to have breakfast first thing, right away. No coffee, no nuthin’. Food, Now. Then we can commence with the day’s adventure. Wherever it may lead. Where man leads I follow. Unless we’ve been there before, even once a long time ago. Then I lead cause I remember stuff better than man. His memory is sometimes faulty although he doesn’t’ let on. So get out and have an adventure with your human or your dawg or both! Desert Dawg over and out.
For two months I’ve been hard at work keeping an eye on man and his friends while they got lost in the canyon wilderness. Now we’re home and I’m out of work, bored, restless and laying on the couch. Probably gonna gain a bunch of weight too. Least I hope so cause I love food. What to do? Go for walks, chew on toys, chase the occasional cow or deer. I mean everyday I had a good job. Get up, wake man up, eat, take care of my business, hike all day, get to camp, eat, sleep, repeat. Life was good. Chase some silly bunnies, howled at coyotes and the full moon. Got treats all the time especially salami skins. (I love salami skin.) washed the dishes, went swimming, kissed everybody a bunch, snuggled with man every night but now we’re home and I’m back on the couch. I mean it’s great to be home don’t get me wrong. It’s warm and cozy and life is easy but I’m a workin’ dawg. I love to work, like hike everyday. I’m so strong and fit right now. What if it all turns to fat? What then? Oh well, there’s morning walkies, and afternoon walkies and some hikes but mostly it’s the couch and barking at intruders and stuff. Boring, but cozy. My claws need to grow back too. They are nuthin’ but little stubs. So, if you hear of any good work for an over qualified blue heeler (me) or if you want to go hiking please let me know. You can send a message to man. He seems to be happy to lay around on the couch all day but I know him. He’ll get antsy here in a week or two and we’ll have to go climbing or something. Desert Dawg – back on the couch.
Yep, A cat lover too. That’s right. One’s of man’s best old friend’s Marko is here getting ready to go with us and he’s a freakin’ cat lover. Sad, but true. However. he is extremely trainable. Who say you can’t teach an old human new tricks? I mean it only took a day till he was sneakin’ me treats. Then another day till he let me lick him on the mug. Now he’s talkin’ dawg and and showing me stuff in the fridge and is amazed by my super powers on rock and chasing cows and shutting the door when I come in and well, basically he was pushover. You can turn a stupid cat lover into a dawg lover. We just did it. Living proof. Walkies 3 times a day, tug o’ war with the old duck on the living room floor, walk around talking in a really high voice all the time. Cat guy becomes a dawg lover!
Now we are about to set off on some huge long walkabout. I’m ready. I’m always ready. But man is kind of stressed and not only cause he can’t stop scratchin’ the poison ivy he got the other day (might be from cuddling with me while out exploring) but also cause he has packed about a ton of food and treats for me! I don’t know much about the details. Not my job. My job is to keep these guys in sight and safe and happy and not give them poison ivy or get skunked or eat cow shit or anything else like that. You can follow our journey on some stupid thing called assbook. Humans call it facebook but for dawgs it’s about the other end. So pack plenty of treats, talk in a high pitched voice and sneak treats to your favorite dawg whenever possible! Desert Dawg over and out. Way out.
Are you aware that today is National Dawg Day? Nope, me neither. But man has just informed me that that is in fact the case. So, stop whatever you are doing and go rub your dawg’s belly and tell em’ how much you love ’em. Easy huh? Now everyone feels better. Other stuff you should do is go for a walk and get a good bone. That’s about it. Pretty easy holiday. In fact almost everyday is dawg day around here. If you don’t have a dawg maybe you should think about getting one? It’s a fact (man told me) that humans with dawgs live longer, are happier, are all around better humans. Actually we don’t trust humans without dawgs. Sometimes when we are out hiking we see dawgs attached to humans with a leash. Well, I can do that when are in a city or someplace dangerous for dawgs. But out in the woods? I feel sorry for those dawgs and their humans. I can’t imagine not being able to run free, chase rabbits, round up cows, eat cow poop and all the other fun stuff we do. I guess some humans need a leash too. Anyway I know man has some big hike coming up but I can tell I’m going. He is laying out our supplies. So, I’ll just rest and be ready. I was born ready. Go love on your dawg, roll around on the floor, play like there’s no tomorrow cause today is National day of the dawg!
Man has about 17 pairs of shoes in the entrance hall. Then in his gear room he has a ton of boots and shoes and spike things to put on his boots and ski stuff too. So complicated. How does he decide? When he does go out barefoot he doesn’t make it very far. Fragile those humans. Me? Just take a look. One set of go anywhere do anything paws. I can climb mountains, shred couloirs, swim rivers, bury bones, cross deserts, and even hold down the bacon pan when I lick it clean. I know how to avoid cactus, hot pavement, (the worst) and I can run like the wind. I can chase cows, catch balls and shut the door when I come in the house. My paws are amazing. Just don’t touch them. Yep, I don’t like anyone messing with my paws. When I do get a sticker stuck I just stand there and wait for man to fix me up. I heard some dawgs have booties. Well, just don’t put those things on me. I won’t stand for it. Sometimes my paws get tired but I recover super fast. They get hot too that’s why I like to stand in mud and potholes and stuff. Cools me right down. Did you know that dawgs sweat through their pads? Man said he read it on the internet whatever the hell that is so it must be true. I heard too that some dawgs need to have their nails clipped. Must not get out much poor things. Somebody should tell their people to go hiking. I’ve never had my nails clipped plus I wouldn’t let you even try. My paws rule and get me wherever man goes once he decides which shoes to wear! Desert Dawg – over and out. Way out!
Beautiful ain’t it? My smeller. It’s a work of art. Man says that dawgs noses work so good that science can’t even measure it. Off the charts so to speak. Like even when I’m napping on the couch and man opens the fridge I know everything that’s in there. I don’t have to think about it. It’s just instant knowledge. Like if he grabs the cheese I know it. And if he starts to take out something like elk meat well then I get off the couch and nonchalantly venture into the kitchen to get a visual bearing on whatever may be happening. My nose runs my life. It sticks out there in front and leads the way. The worst thing ever was when I got skunked. Ground zero right in my schnoz. Imagine you poor human if you got blinded by some stupid kitty with black and white stripes? It sucked. Man took care of me even though he complained a lot. Everybody had to say something too for the next few days. Not only couldn’t I smell anything it was humiliating. It faded after a few days though and my super powers returned. Most times when our friends show up I sound the warning to let man know there are intruders. But then I get their scent, and even if I haven’t’ smelt them for years and years when I do and I know that they are part of our tribe, well then sometimes I just have to start talking about it. Makes me so happy to smell our old friends. And dawgs, how do I explain? The amount of information that I get from a dawg’s butt? Science can’t even measure it! That’s why we sniff so much, it’s just so interesting. The nose knows, knows it all. A glorious wondrous sniffing machine. Go ahead kiss me on the nose I love it. Desert Dawg over and out.
I’m not sure if he’s leaving me again. I think he’s staying here where he belongs but it’s been hectic around here. Duffle bags in the hallway, people coming and going, strange stuff. He talks to me but I can’t always trust him. What if he’s doing the ‘ol bait and switch? He would never do that but he’s acting funny. Packing, unpacking, saying one thing and doin’ another. Humans can drive me crazy. All I can do is stay close, real close. Bathroom, living room, kitchen, outside, inside, post office, coffee shop, truck. Never ending vigilance, that’s me. Worrisome is what it is. Why can’t he just chill out? Like last night we loaded up with his friends and went over to Mike’s. Mike’s cool but then they got out those huge smelly horses and they put me in a f_____g kennel! Me – the Desert Dawg, locked up like a common mongrel. Well, I let them know how not psyched I was. I haven’t been in a cage since…….. well, I don’t remember exactly but it seems like a long time ago, like the very first time I saw man. When I put my head under his hand and I thought – me, pick me, take me home with you. Ever since it’s been us. Except when he leaves me. I can always tell. He acts strange, It’s hard to get a good nap when I have to listen all the time. So yeah, I love my man but sometimes he drives me crazy. He needs to just stay here with me. Hike everyday, nap on the couch every afternoon. Morning and evening walkies. Us dawgs like routine. Anyway, we’re here right now. There’s no duffel bags in the hallway. So things are lookin’ good, I think I’ll take a nap. Actually I’ll nap in the middle of the hallway so if there is any movement I’ll be ready. Desert Dawg – I was born ready!